Are Your Efforts Aligned With Your Wants

The Internet is like a candy store.

Interesting programs and products cross your path in an instant and stimulates the “ooo, gotta have it …” nerve in your body. There is a name for this .. the “Shinny Object Syndrome”.

But I’m going to dive a tad deeper than this and really stir-up your thoughts because it’s something I’ve noticed.

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It’s one thing to purchase a biz op program, or training (and never watch it the videos), and purchase another one thinking “THIS is the one” that will bring you fame and fortune …  but it’s another thing to abandon your “wants” or the “drive” that brought you to the internet in the first place.

So what do I mean ..

Well, I’ll use myself as an example to clarify  …

Not too long ago I saw an ad on a website I enjoy visiting and they had a job opportunity I thought was a good match for me. They were looking for a community organizer who was skilled in mediation and would monitor member Q & A on the topic, provide support, and engage in conversation.

PERFECT I thought and I actually applied.

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Then it hit me. What am I doing? Why would I want to work for someone else when I’ve worked on building my own community, earning my own income online through other programs?

Why would I shift my attention from what I want to create for myself to work for someone else…

What was it about this ad that sparked such a shift in direction?

It’s easier to work for someone else, yet at the same time I would be building their dream, not mine.

It’s easier to take direction or be told what to do, rather than be my own boss.

These might have been my reasons, but I realized the time I would invest in someone else’s business would take away from what I want for myself.

Desire and wants …

Many people, including myself have been asked this question: What do you want? Most reply, as I have – I don’t know.

What is your “Why” – I don’t know. …

For me, at 61, I want to generate a lot of income online so my husband can quit his job. I want to help my son build his own Tattoo business. I want to be able to do what I want, when I want and answer to no one. I want to be a “silent” gift-er and help people financially .. I want to be able to get a massage one a week or more … I want to give to animal shelters because I love animals so much …


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I could create a never ending list , but the thing here is I have a choice to work for someone else, or for myself. Which then begs the question – are my efforts – those things that grab my attention align with my wants and desires?

Those that are successful online stay focused on what they KNOW works for them, and stay true to their wants.

When you stay focused it builds momentum. When you shift your attention to something else it breaks momentum and you have to start again…

I’m only involved in 4 programs because they’re working for me and I am earning income. I know my income is going to grow incredibly – so why should I switch to something, halt my progress, and start again?

I see people doing this all the time. I have myself. But there has to come a time when you have to commit to what you want and what is working for you to get what you want, or else you’ll be forever thinking that nothing works. Or, I’ll try this or that .. continuously seeking that “thing” that will get you what you want.

The reality is, which is a hard aspect of life to digest at times is – it’s all up to me what I choose or decide to commit to. I can run in circles or I can set my path and stay on it to reap the benefits of it – momentum is magical.

So. A good question to ask is this: Is what I’m exploring aligned with my wants? How will this help me to get what I want, … or achieve… 

What do you think?

Creatively yours,

Lesly Federici






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Lesly Federici

Lesly Federici is a Registered Nurse turned Community and Affiliate Marketer. She is the CEO of the Power Affiliate Club, and known as the "Artistic Affiliate". She enjoys helping people learn, create, and manage the blogging experience. She's also an Artist and Author. Lesly believes the best opportunities in life are those self generated. Be sure to reach out to Lesly as she would love to hear from you ...

29 Responses

  1. Mandy Allen says:

    Hey, Lesly, great post, and you are so right, it is indeed easier to work for someone else. Apart from the fact that all the decisions are made for you, you get told what to do rather than having to choose yourself. I recently decided to JV on a project with a colleague and I know it is a safety net for me, I help him with his project and he helps me with mine, so all of the responsibility won’t fall on my own shoulders.

    Enjoy the journey!

  2. Hello Mitch,
    How wonderful to see you visiting again, thank you, I appreciate it. Yes the battle of “thinking and doing” affects us all in huge ways. The fact is, the more you do the better. I have been more productive and happier by using one simple thing to help me stay focused – a timer. It works! Clarity comes from knowing what you want, no matter how big or small, and creating a plan to get it. But getting always involves doing. I have a mastermind starting up in January to address this very thing .. let me know if you’re interested … Happy Holidays!

  3. Hi Denz.
    Thank you for visiting my blog and the compliments, I appreciate it! When you have so many important things you want to achieve, one must learn how to manage their thinking and “doing” skills. When you’re able to do this more gets done and there’s less overwhelm. I’ll be writing a lot about this because so many people are overwhelmed .. I wish you lots of luck! If I can help you with anything, let me know.. I am also on Facebook …

  4. Hi Erica,
    That sounds exciting – starting your own summits. When you’re ready, lets see how we can do this with PAC … 🙂 Wonderful to see you visiting, thank you

  5. Hi Vashishtha,
    Nice to see you visiting again, thank you! Not sure what you mean about “sticked to”? I think you want to know 4 ways I stay focused?
    1. I only pursue those things that interest me
    2. I’m not afraid to say “no”
    3. I value my time and estimate how much time I spend on certain things. If it’s a new program, I review it. If it takes to much time and I’m not really interested in it, I don’t get involved
    4. I time my activities to stay on track

    Is this what you meant? 🙂

  6. Hi Miriam,
    Wonderful to see you visiting … the internet is a “goldmine” only if you know what you’re doing – and takes paying attention, staying focused on goals you have targeted for yourself and make sense to you personally, Someone else’s goals are not yours so this really takes time.. but once figured out … it’s all good. Thank you for your comment 🙂

  7. You are right, there is so much online and the thing about it is, if you are not focused you can suffer from information overload and shiny object syndrome. But if you are focused and patient and know what you want, the internet is a goldmine and you can start building your own dream instead of someone else’s.

  8. Hi Lesly mam. I am really motivated to read your post.
    It was very inspiring and a perfect thing which I needed now.
    I am also sticking to a few money making ways for now. but talking about steadiness, I am not sure.
    So, now the hunt begins.
    Thanks again. I would like to know 4 ways you are sticked to.

  9. Lesly,

    Great and important question to keep asking ourselves – Are my efforts aligned with my wants? I have been grappling with this for some time.
    This past year I joined several online Dating and Love Summits, someone else’s summit. Only one out of 6 of these actually resulted in money, both affiliate payment and people purchasing my 30 Day Love Challenge. But I cannot always measure the value by immediate income.
    As a result of “being out there”, being seen by many on these summits as an “expert” on love and relationships, I was invited as the therapist to be interviewed for an NBC Oxygen TV series called – Snapped: Killer Couples. And others have reached out to me in different ways. It IS aligned with my goal of being seen as a leading Love Expert. From the 6 summits I have added about 300 subscribers to my email lists.
    But there are problems. All of these summits were geared toward women but I work with both genders. So the men on my lists have not received their proper attention and I know that several men, and women, have opted out after receiving not only all my emails but then getting onto all those other lists – the summit leaders and all the “experts'” lists.
    So I am re-thinking all of this again, trying to decide what is most aligned with my own wants and needs.
    For 2016, my goal is to create my own summits and one-on-one webinars (similar to my BlogTalkRadio shows, but on webinars).


    Dr. Erica

  10. Denz Brown says:

    Hi Lesly
    You said that right. we have to make sure that what we are doing is going the right way it should be to achieve them.
    I am expanding my business with a view to make it profitable and a way to generate employment for many. Yeah and pace is much needed for that because you can not break the whole schedule and ruin the whole of the plan you made to come closer to your goal. I am very inspired to read you blog.
    Nicely written. Beautifully placed.
    Have a nice day 🙂

  11. Great stuff! I can say my efforts aren’t always aligned with my wants… and my results, or lack thereof, certainly reflects that. I need to work on finding more clarity so that I know what to do to be successful… actually, that’s not quite true. I know what to do, I just need to do it. 🙂

  12. Mary Sloane says:

    Merry Christmas Lelsy

    May your thoughts and prayers slign

    I read this previously but it is a great re-read

    I think I have real trouble getting everything into alignment. I seem torn in many directions so I have made it into my intention for the New Year to start and stay in alignment so all of me is pulling in the same direction.

    Thanks for the timely reminder

    To the Top


  13. Joy Healey says:

    Hi Lesly,
    I have been tempted (and fallen for) many shiny objects, but none of them jobs! I’ve been self-employed almost permanently for well over 30 years now, and really resented the time when everything fell apart and I had to take a part-time job.

    My bosses were lovely, but I really disliked building their dreams ahead of my own. Happily I got back on course about 4 years ago and SO value being my own boss again, and the freedom it brings me.

    Those few years employed were enough to make sure I would never again be tempted by employment.

    And thanks goodness you didn’t pursue it – what would we all do without you in PAC?


  14. Liz Delaney says:

    Hi lesly. It has been a while since I was involved with you all. My tutoring business expanded incredibly this year and this has required much more of my time. However, my job as a tutor comes to an end next Easter…yippee!!!
    I have loved it but there are other things I want to do….following my dream. I have wandered from my goal a few times but continue to come back to it. I loved your post …it really has helped me switch back on to what is important to me.

  15. Sue Bride says:

    My own why is to get back to a position I was in a few years ago. I’d sold my house in the city and bought a home I love by the coast, with money left over to supplement my carer’s pension and visit Europe. Savings are fast dwindling away.

    I’ve discounted so many online opportunities over the last few years and want to create something of my own instead. Something I can earn from while traveling for part of each year – an older version of Ryan Biddulf 🙂

  16. Barrie Evans says:

    Well Lesly. Definitely food for thought.
    There was a time when I thought I knew what I wanted, but I still wouldn’t do it. I’ve been going through Nick Hall’s program I knwo what to do, so why don’t I do it? A lot of great insight in that program and it also mentions a lot of things you have in this post. The biggest thing is to know WHY you do something and to stay focused.

  17. Oh Lesly, how so very true it is that we can look at an offer and say…”Yes, I can do that really well” and apply.
    I see things like this quite often, and feel that pull towards the job or position.

    But, that is telling us that we have comfortably achieved the skills for that position and could bring skills to others and success to ourselves doing that job… BUT like you say that is not building OUR dreams.

    The difference is, that spark inside us, reminding us that our dream is really what we want, we are forced out of our comfort zone to focus and achieve these. The passion needs to be nurtured, and tough times, overwhelm and feeling down can batter this temporarily… there is always that little devil inside us pointing at the easy road for us!

    It is hard to focus when pulled in many directions… (I feel like an octopus sometimes) I’m fighting to achieve my plan to the next level, but have aligned it with me so am excited by it. The pull to other things shows me where my comfort zone is, but my vision is bigger… like yours.

    Your focus and passion are to be admired, and I know I am not alone in applauding your work with Monna on PAC.

    Dreams do take time, but when our efforts are aligned with our wants the path is clearer and more fun

    To the Top!!

    your friend,

    Jacs 😀

  18. Hi Lesly,

    Good observations in this post. And, the following really rang a bell for me: “momentum is magical”. Yes it is!

    It’s hard to get where you’re going if you keep making side trips, isn’t it?
    Thank you,

  19. Hi Lesly,

    Oh yes, greed and fear and impatience and other lower energies arise from within at times, and create a zany misaligned, chaotic adventure. I have had horrible struggles with this bit over the years; chasing what I didn’t want, to get what I didn’t want. I felt like I was missing out. But the newer me does most stuff for fun, so I’m not too wanting of anything other than having a good time and trusting in the Universe to take care of me. What a fun journey. I chase little and let It All In, and it’s so much more enriching and fulfilling for me and those whose lives I touch.

    You have a way with the inner world of blogging and business Lesly…..Keep on spreading your wisdom.


  20. Hello Lesly, What a Great post my friend, it really got my juices flowing LOL

    After I read your wants, I stopped pulled out my journal and filled up the page with my wants. It has been a while since I have done this so it was good medicine so to say.

    I do believe I am on track with my goals, I just sometimes get sidetracked.

    I just visited Donna’s blog and learned a little more about how I can keep on task.

    You Rock Girl!
    Thanks for sharing
    Chery :))

  21. Hi Lesly,

    Thank goodness you didn’t work for anyone else and kept on your own path! I know that temptress of a j.o.b. has tempted me too. I get the knee jerk reaction of the quick cash I can make because I know I can do it. Then a little birdie chirps on my shoulders and wakes me up.
    I chalk it up to that deep routed job mentality we all have. And even though I’ve been an entrepreneur for the most of my life, it still tempts me.
    I think it is that subconscious part of ourselves that we carry around…even when we do know our why.
    Thanks for sharing your experience.

  22. Very good post,Lesly
    It is true often we get distracted from what we
    really want to do and we need to remind ourselves
    to stay on our own path.I am grateful to say, I never
    worked for someone else, but maybe helping out a friend.
    If we want to have a life worth living, we need to stay on
    our path and patiently work in the direction of our goal.
    As you often say, “the magic is in the action” :), but we need to
    keep our course.
    Thank you

  23. Mary Sloane says:

    Oh so similar to so many of us Lesly!

    I think our visioning strategy needs a revamp.

    Why is it so easy in a moment to see a successful future and all the pieces in place and so hard to keep that vision in view as we’re working the plan.

    I know I took a turn in the tunnel this week and then sat and worked it into my plan before actually starting on it.

    Now I’m building physical stores to offer gadgets and accessories to people but we are such want machines sometimes it is easier to just sell people stuff .

    I also sometimes question whether it is a good or bad idea to try and sell people dreams as we do when we offer them the life of an Internet marketer.

    Thank heavens we have successful examples of people making that life work all around us just keep the visions straight LOL!

    Let me stretch your Vision… Huffington Post! All it is is well organized guest articles.

    To the Top

  24. Hi Lesly,

    I landed up here from the comment you left in my blog. I never like working for someone and always like to be my own boss. Still coming to the point, if we want to quit our day job, we need to make sure that we get a full-time income from your blog or whatever online business we are doing.

    Happy to know more about your family from this post. Hoping to read more posts from you soon.

    Thanks and regards

    Reji Stephenson

  25. sazia kazia says:

    Hi Lesly Federici, I am from PAC..Wonderful post it really gives joy helping others and doing something on our own. Great lines from post..It’s easier to work for someone else, yet at the same time I would be building their dream, not mine. Thanks for sharing 🙂

  26. Naman Kumar says:

    seriously, if you are working for someone else you are building up their dreams not your. This was the line what one of my teacher used to tell me.

    Good post. Thanks!

    Happy Blogging!

  27. Hi Lesly,
    I knew there was a good reason why we work so well together. I have come to this same realization as you have. In fact, when we were talking, remember you asked me a couple of times if I had read your post yet? I hadn’t read this post yet but when I did, it was so on target for the both of us in what we want to do and devote our efforts to PAC.

    Thank you partner and I appreciate you very much and what we are building in PAC.

  28. Hi Kathryn …

    This happens to me often. I did apply to the job I mentioned in my post and thankfully they never replied. It would have been a perfect position using my skills in meditation, teaching, etc. But time and focus would have suffered. PAC would have suffered. So I had to take a hard look and say “no” – not doing this. I believe in what I’m doing and I rather succeed in what I’m creating for myself than stop, and start something else – and abandon me, what I work diligently for. Sometimes we don’t “see” potential opportunities as a “shinny object” but they can be just as distracting and keep us from what we really want to accomplish … 🙂

  29. Well let’s see, is what I am doing online right now getting me what I want? Not yet! But after all the years of struggle learning marketing, I still believe that I can make a full time income.
    I saw perhaps not a shinny object exactly, as it wasn’t something to buy. ( I have a hard drive stuffied with what I have bought)
    It was a job offer. Someone would pay me a salary to use my hard-won marketing knowelge. It was something I would be able to do well, I had all the desired qualifications. Just the fact that I could
    have done this was very cool. Did I want to work for someone else, rather than myself. No. It would leave me with little time to do my own business. My time is very valuable to me. So to answer your question
    my efforts are aligned with my wants after all. Thanks for helping me to sort out my mind.

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