Getting Off The Coat Tails To Carve Your Own Path

Posted on Posted in Affiliate Marketing, How To's, Mindset

This month of July, I am in a blogging challenge that offers weekly topics and I LOVE this one.

Week 4 Topic:

Innovation and taking the road less traveled. Did you discover a new direction at any point, how did you expand your pathway to include these new discoveries or did you take a different direction …

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Three points to keep in mind as I discuss …

  1. “Coat Tails” is a term used to describe “something/someone” having a “ride” on/or being affiliated with  someone else’s success.  OR actual Coat Tails on a dress coat.
  2. To generate any personal or business success online or off,, you must establish “WHO you are” and why people should be interested in you.
  3. YOU make your business happen. No one else will.

So. I’ve been online since 1998. A long time and I’ve seen quite a few changes. It wasn’t until 2010 that I created my first blog and new absolutely NOTHING about it or what to do with it.

Social Media just launched around that time – maybe a few years before. I remember trying to connect to people, visiting there websites , sending messages and got no response. Very frustrating.

Then I heard about “Tribes” and joined one that was just starting out created by a couple of guys (names withheld). It started off real good. I made connections instantly! Had people visiting my blog instantly and it was reciprocal ! Maybe after a year or so this tribe fell apart and the people who organized it went their separate ways and the tribe died unfortunately.

However there was one person I really liked and began to follow them closely. I signed-up for their programs and joined their groups. They were always creating new programs and groups based on their personal learning experiences. I followed them for about 5 years and even did some work for them.

I got to a point though, as I thought we had developed a friendship, I was also a “customer” and they would market to me to sign-up for whatever program they were promoting at the time. This bothered me because I realized I wasn’t a friend at all – just another potential prospect to make them money.

This was my first awakening of riding on someone’s “Coat Tails”. I really liked them and learned a lot,but didn’t like how I was treated,  Many connections I made online were through their’s and I made a huge decision where I disconnected myself from them completely.

Why?

  • I wanted to see what I could achieve on my own without being associated first with this person
  • I wanted to take what I learned from him and implement on my own
  • I wanted to create my own following
  • I wanted to find out “WHO” I was, on my own because I was too connected with this person.
  • I started to feel like a “Groupie”

So. I choose a different path to travel  – my own, not someone else’s. I follow my own set of rules which have helped me greatly I think in connecting with other people online:

  1. Always treat people with respect
  2. Always have integrity
  3. NEVER treat people as prospects
  4. Always honor who they are and their circumstances
  5. Adults make up their own minds
  6. Always appreciate people
  7. Always share what I know, or don’t know
  8. Always aim to inspire and motivate
  9. Be me – never try to be like someone else. Cultivate, change, and grow me

It’s not easy to let go of something that has helped you, inspired you, helped to morph you into who you are now. Perhaps getting to the point where I became more aware of what I didn’t want (always a good guide to discovering what you don’t want to create new opportunities in your life).

It was a “growth spurt”and was time to discover what I could do on my own. I don’t regret it. It’s been uncomfortable at times moving out of my comfort zone – but worth it because the benefits are rich, log lasting and forever giving.

So what do you think? And if you’d like to participate in this awesome blogging challenge.. you can find out more by clicking on this banner …

PAC Blogging Carnival

 

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ROBIN HOOD MENTORING

29 thoughts on “Getting Off The Coat Tails To Carve Your Own Path

  1. Hi Andy,
    Great to see you visiting and thank you!Nice to see a new face! Staying in your comfort zone never really gets you anywhere, so it really depends on the person and what they want to accomplish. Keep up the great work Andy, you’re off to a great start!

  2. Well Said Lesly.

    Moving out of the comfort zone is the very first step to success. And I am so much proud of you.
    Stepping outside your comfort zone is the first step to growth. No it isn’t anything like COMPLAIN and we are not promoting your height growth or something. It is the growth of your personality.
    Taking risks to step outside your own little world of comfort is scary. The thought itself is a little frightening. That is what makes stepping out of it, a bit tough. But if you come to think of it; comfort zones aren’t about your comfort and peace, they are more about what you fear.

  3. Hi Joy,

    Great to see you … oh I hate that! People sign you up for things and you never hear from them again – it’s all about the money for them. No wonder so many people feel “jaded”. You certainly find out who your friends are, or sincere, right?

  4. Hi Ikechi..
    Wow… what heartwarming, kind words … thank you! I’m the first to deny .. I’m very modest – believe it or not. So to hear what you think of me Ikechi, I blush. Much love and appreciation to you …

  5. Hi Lesly

    You sure know how to bring a concept to reality. I can see why you are so much of an inspiration. You crafted your own path and look what it turned out to be.

    You rock Lesly. Thanks

  6. Hi Lesly,

    Something similar happened to me “offline”. There was this lady who I thought was a real friend, and I offered to maintain her website. In the end it was taking for ever to keep it up-to-date and she was just getting more and more demanding of my time and finally – crunch time – we went our separate ways. Although I miss the friendship it’s a relief not to be continually at her beck and call.

    Online, I joined someone’s “list” and she sent an email saying how she thought this particular course was so perfect for me because she had particularly noticed my blog and wanted to work with me (or something). So I bought the course – then never heard another thing from her. I felt very stupid for having fallen for that line.

    Never mind – we learn, and the friends that stay the course tend to be the “real” ones!

    Joy – Blogging After Dark

  7. Hi Deborah,
    Yea.. I know.. I do always hold on to the best that could come from experiences like this – as I think they’re all good. Thanks for your feedback, much appreciated .. and we sure DO go back a long way! 🙂

  8. Hi Sue,
    LOL .. I love you Sue… yes, I do believe people should get what they need, learn what they can and blossom on their own, while providing support and encouragement ….. I have groupies? Oh No!! Better get a guitar! 🙂 🙂 lol .. I am very honored … wonderful to see you, always///

  9. Hi Kathryn,
    I plan on staying me.. lol .. I wouldn’t know where else to go .. But perhaps you do have to follow for a while until you trust yourself, believe in yourself enough to break away.. thank you my friend 🙂

  10. Hi Barrie,
    Absolutely, everyone learns from everyone else, and you;re right about help and growth coming from others. But I also think there has to come a time when you make your own opportunities and not depend on someone else who perhaps is having more success. I feel very lucky and grateful for the position I gracefully find myself in. I have learned a great deal from others.. I just didn’t like feeling I was just another potential prospect foran MLM or something like that. So that’s when you/I have to break away and generate your own path .. thanks for stopping by and appreciate your comment 🙂

  11. Hi Lesly,

    I remember the “tribe” by those four guys and that is where I think we met. Of course I have that name “tribe” after my name on my blog only because of Seth Godin’s book. I still believe as we grow in different directions with our blog there is still a “tribe” effect and that is commenting. Also supporting each other on Social media.

    But you have gone to the ultimate creating PAC, which is the ONLY group I’m in.

    -Donna

  12. Hi Lesly,
    I think this proves that you don’t get anywhere without the help of others. I agree that you need to find your own path with your own rules, but never disregard what you have learned. You can adapt those things to your way of thinking and test them. If it works, then you’re onto a winner. If it doesn’t you will know what does because you learned along the way.
    You now lead and others follow. The best thing is you keep doing what you’re doing and continue on your success road.
    Barrie

  13. I love your 9 steps or rules for treating people. And admire your step out from under the umbrella. Keep going as you are doing something good.

  14. Hi Lesly,
    I don’t see you riding on anyone’s coat tails.
    True it is uncomfortable to move from your comfort zone – but it’s it so worth it ?As you say ” the benefits are rich, log lasting and forever giving.” Stay forever YOU!

  15. Now you have your own groupies, Lesly, those that follow you because we know you stick to this set of rules, inspiring and supporting us. But, you don’t expect us to hang on to your coat tails. Instead you encourage originality, for us to be ourselves, and be the best we can.
    Best Wishes from a groupie 🙂

  16. You know, Lesly, we’ve been in some of the same groups for quite some time now.

    I think maybe things started out as a genuine friendship so you weren’t wrong about them, but as the group started to skyrocket, I think they changed (maybe got a bit too full of themselves?). I’m not sure but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. It sure does hurt though when you realized that you didn’t have what you thought you had.

    I’ve had this a few times in my adult life and I like to keep the parts that make me happy, and learn from the parts that weren’t so much fun. As you say, adults make choices. 🙂 And you made yours.

    Thank you for sharing how you took a new direction to find yourself.

    Deborah

  17. You know, Lesly, we’ve been in some of the same groups for quite sometime now.

    I think maybe things started out as a genuine friendship so you weren’t wrong about them, but as the group started to skyrocket, I think they changed (maybe got a bit too full of themselves?). I’m not sure but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. It sure does hurt though when you realized that you didn’t have what you thought you had.

    I’ve had this a few times in my adult life and I like to keep the parts that make me happy, and learn from the parts that weren’t so much fun. As you say, adults make choices. 🙂 And you made yours.

    Thank you for sharing how you took a new direction to find yourself.

    Deborah

  18. Hi Ed,
    Yea… somewhat disappointing because I really liked this person. So, live and learn. This is one reason why I don’t promote what I do on a personal sidebar … Thank you Ed for the visit and your support.. I appreciate it .. 🙂

  19. I love that you found your own path. Someone very smart once told me that the internet is a very funny place. You know that person well. I am glad that you listen to her.

    When we forge our own path we are true to our own values. This attracts people because it is so authentically you.

  20. Hi Lesly,

    Heartfelt story of your online journey. Related to your realization of remaining a prospect – not the friend you’d thought you’d earned. Like you, I go out of my way to not treat people that way.

    Knowing what we don’t want is a good start finding who we are.
    Edward

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