The Lie That Holds You Back


I’ve been living a lie ….

What I’m about to share with you is important because it has everything to do with being successful online .

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My Mentors have turned me inside out and for good reason. My brain, my mind feels like scrambled eggs. But worth it – because it’s life changing ….


It took a life time to realize things


Here’s the lie and you may resonate with this…. but first a brief “cliff note” version of my life up to today (I’ll spare you the details) …

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  • Abandoned by my mother at 3-years-old
  • Placed in foster homes
  • Father an alcoholic (but a great artist)
  • Abusive relationships
  • High school drop out
  • Loveless marriage


The lie is what circumstance dealt me caused me to believe for years I was worthless. Circumstance and situations shadowed my potential and seeing my value as a human being. Why? Because those around me didn’t nurture what I could be. People felt sorry for me because of the lack of family or support from parents. When you live a life thinking you don’t amount to much – well, must be true right? Because everyone thinks it … or so it seemed.

The struggles I had were simply rising above it all to prove them wrong.


  • I returned to school
  • Graduated College
  • Traveled to Europe
  • Started my own Art Gallery
  • Got Married
  • Had a son
  • Became an Registered Nurse


All the while still thinking I wasn’t good enough. Until I realized that I have to change my story. Not so much change it, but rather look at through different “glasses”.

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I think now that every person is supposed to have something in their life experience that drags them down. Because the lesson in life is to learn, on your own, how to believe in yourself …


No one can do this for you.

Here’s why I’m sharing this with you. Because how you think about yourself creeps in to everything you do. If you don’t believe in your own potential and value how can you help others?


My mentors showed me this. One of them had an even more screwed up life growing up than I did! He shared his story to demonstrate you can change your perception of who you are and the change will will affect the direction you go in your life – dramatically.


Is it easy? No. Does it happen over night? No. It’s a process and a journey – if you’re willing to explore, discover, and overcome things in your life and experience the good that you can create from it …


How do you do this?


  • Be willing to cry a lot – it’s a release of emotional pain
  • Remember the things  you accomplished  without influence from others
  • Get a Mentor
  • Recognize whatever the circumstance was/is … you are not the sum of others opinions of you
  • Forgive yourself for thinking the worst, start thinking the best
  • Know thoughts are real and whatever you’re telling yourself, bad or good, guard your thoughts, keep it positive
  • You DO have a choice in how your choose to think


Getting your head straight is the most important thing you can do for your success in life, your business offline and online.

Creatively yours,

Lesly Federici





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Lesly Federici

Lesly Federici is a Registered Nurse turned Community and Affiliate Marketer. She is the CEO of the Power Affiliate Club, and known as the "Artistic Affiliate". She enjoys helping people learn, create, and manage the blogging experience. She's also an Artist and Author. Lesly believes the best opportunities in life are those self generated. Be sure to reach out to Lesly as she would love to hear from you ...

15 Responses

  1. Hi Elise,
    Wonderful to see you visiting , thiank you .. It’s not easy to share myself with others, but my hope is as I go through my own journey it will be useful to others …, maybe even generate some personal insights …

  2. Every lie holds you back. It makes it impossible to live authentically. Thank you for always sharing of yourself freely.

  3. Hi Erika,
    You amaze me … you have come so far in your blogging and your willingness to write more than you ever have in spite of feeling like you don’t know how to “write”. Your blog is explosive with wonderful writing and guidance from the heart. for me I can finally say – I am good enough … much love to you my friend … 🙂

  4. Hi Miriam,
    Thank you for visiting, always great to see you …it’s not easy to rise above it – the negative stuff.. negativity is rampant and you really have to guard yourself against it all … I’m still working on it …

  5. Hi Emi,
    One has to be willing to see different perspectives in their lives … change their heart .. and things will be different, they have to be .. wonderful to see you visiting, thank you 🙂

  6. Emi says:

    Hi Lesly,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story,
    This is deep, I totally agree with you “… you can change your perception of who you are and the change will affect the direction you go in your life – dramatically.”
    It’s not easy and does take time and tears … but definitely 100% worthed!

    Thank you for great post!

  7. It is so true, we can really let our negative experiences define us or have the choice to rise above it, you have risen above it.. well done Lesly.

  8. Hi Lesly ,
    I think you are not alone with this ,I see many have a problem with accepting themselves
    I learned it step by step ,because I needed it . I always wanted to be me and rejected not to.
    Was not easy sometimes the society does not like it and we too made unknowingly the mistake
    to mold our kids and put some of our paradigms on them.. This is the reason I went for coaching.
    I could see it very clear.and my passion is to help people to realize this and find their dream.
    It is not only in US this way ,every Nation has its own traditions and Paradigms,which restrict ,
    young people so they can not see their infinite possibilities and get scared to live the life they would love.
    The not good enough is all around us and I realized ,specially when I came back
    after 10 years from Iran to Germany ,that all are more pretenders.. They play the role as society
    wants them to be and do not dare to be themselves. A big change happen through TV and Media,
    while I was away.And I was like an Alien ,because I wanted to be me 🙂
    Could write books about 🙂
    The most important thing to get out of this thinking is loving support and partners in believe.
    You are right ,everybody has experiences in life like this ,so we can grow and change and teach
    the future generation ,that many of the things we learned are not true anymore.
    Thank you for sharing your story of a new awareness.We need to treasure our uniqueness 🙂

  9. Hi BG..
    In spite of how much we try.. the mountains are still there.. they just morph into different areas of our lives… you have opened up so much and I think being in a supportive group or groups has helped you… I left out some details that are similar to what happened to you … and recently, I’ve just decided to leave my past. It’s nothing but memories that could haunt me (if I allow them) for the rest of my life. So I am creating a new future and changing the “lie” to truth. But first you have to be willing, as painful as it is, to look it squarely in the eye and see it for what it is.. then ask “is that really me?” “is that really true?” “Do I really think that about me?” “Where did that come from”. The core of you, of all of us is bright, clear, and loving. Like onion layers circumstances cloud the essence of who we are and we just have to work through it to change it … much love to you … 🙂 and thank you for the kind words …

  10. Hi Sue,
    It’s not easy is it … I used to beat myself up really bad years ago, it’s less now – I still have moments .. but now I have the “mental” tools to turn it around … we all have to find the “bliss” within if we’re willing to look for it and that means not believing the lie you’ve been telling yourself for all those years … you come out stronger and self loving … as you know .. appreciate you very much and absolutely love your perspective on life ….

  11. Hi Lolette
    Thank you 🙂

  12. Changing your perception of who you are changes the direction of your life – Great post. People with very sad backgrounds in life can have very successful lives. Wonderful changes because they believe in themselves not their circumstances. On my profile page a great example.

  13. Bravo my friend simply bravo

  14. Sue Bride says:

    I can relate to having felt worthless. I always compared myself to others unfavorably. It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I started working on these negative thoughts about myself.

    You’ve achieved so much Lesly. I admire your courage and determination.

  15. BG Jenkins says:

    Hi Lesly, Your past was not the American dream, but you have become a beautiful, loving and giving person who strives to help others without judging, overlooking differences and guiding them to the best of your ability. My past was also not great… poor family, sexually abused at age 5 by a cousin, spent years of crying and depression trying to get over my worthlessness… among other dilemmas. There comes a point where you have to say enough is enough… and then reach out and help others. Thanks for sharing with us. We all have our mountains to climb and when we get to the top the view is incredible.

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