Fly These Rules Exquisitely

Feels good when you fly in the right direction, right? Once you know the course you confidently soar forward.


Recently I taught a class on meditation to 16 people. As they strolled in and decided where they were going to sit, I realized this really wasn’t any different from online marketing and building a rapore with people on line.

Some people are uncomfortable initiating relationships with people online. Just like they may be with giving a live presentation, or teaching a class. Especially if you have an online business and need to let people know what you do and have to offer them.

So here are some golden guidelines for building relationships online. Fist – imagine you’re at a party in real life, a huge party like social media is. LOL…. Yea, Social Media is like one humongous party!

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1. The Icebreaker

So there I was in front of 16 people starring at me. Heck, I thought – where do I begin? So I began with a story of the first time I was introduced to Mindful Meditation. My story became quite humerus as I explained how I had to eat Tofu for a week at this particular Meditation seminar. How I appeared to be meditating physically while my mind was racing with auto-pilot thoughts, and so on…

I made them laugh.

I shared an experience they would also experience during my class, so I made my story relevant to them and humor helps a lot.

Online conversations should always start by asking about the other person first. One LAW of building relationships is always learning about someone else first because it demonstrates “caring”.

So a conversation online may start out something like this …

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YOU: Hey, hope you don’t mind me contacting you – but I see we have some things in common

RESPONSE: Thank you …

YOU: How did you get involved with collecting x,y,z (Notice I did NOT present my business or even ask about theirs)
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2. Never Bring Up Business First

A Major turn off to someone you never met before is talking about business first. Think about when you go shopping at a store, a salesperson will walk up to you to try to sell you something, right? What do you do and say? No thanks and walk away.

So why do the very same thing in an online conversation with someone you don’t know?

3. Allow THEM to ask about Your Business

When you offer very little about what you do, curiosity sets in. Let it …

YOU: Oh, yea .. I’m familiar with that program ..

RESPONSE: Really? Are you in it?

YOU: No, it wasn’t a match for my marketing interests ..

RESPONSE: Oh .. what is that?

YOU: Well, I like building my marketing skills and that program didn’t offer enough in that area ..

RESPONSE: I need more skills too .. what’s the program you’re using?

YOU: Well, you may or may not be interested in x,y,z, would you like the link for more details?

RESPONSE: Sure, thanks, I’ll take a look

4. Never Come Across As Needy, Desperate, Or A Liar

The worst thing ever is “screaming” you’re business opportunity at the masses. It’s the most superficial thing you could possibly do and people will unfriend you on Facebook, delete you, or never respond to you, and you’ve lost a potential relationship that could lead to a friendship or a customer! Β DON’T DO THIS!!

5. Never Chase A Potential Relationship

Always relax and let time dictate the course of relationship building. People have lives offline and if someone doesn’t respond to you immediately – let it go. Things mat be happening in their lives and just don’t have the time to get back to you. Avoid taking a lack of response personally. Avoid asking them -what’s up?

Once I had someone reach out to me. We chatted, I gave them some information and didn’t hear back from them at all. Β Did I cry over it? No. I moved on. Sure enough Β they contacted me again many days later. You just never know. I’ve had people reach out to me years later … no fool’n! This is called – not being “attached to the outcome“. Letting it go. You can’t make people buy from you, be your friend, etc., unless THEY want to.

So, in many ways you have to take a “ZEN” approach to building relationships online and off.

I realized by the end of my class I had believers that meditation works and can change their lives in positive ways, as well as reducing stress. I told my personal experiences, the “why” I got involved with it and how it changed my life.

Building relationships is like teaching a topic – it starts out cold and as you warm up, people respond to you. When they get a genuine sense that you’re honest, caring, and not giving them B.S. they’ll open up to you.


Lesly Federici






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