How A Cup Of Tea Made Me Cry To Experience Success

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There I was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea I sipped on.

It was steaming and the rain was pouring as I sat in the dark listening to the random and sporadic taps on the window.

How did I end up here? And the bittersweet tears rolled down my face dropping like little pellets right into my tea cup.

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One of the hardest things to do in life is to change how you live it. I’m not necessarily talking about career changes and things like that. I’m really taking about behavior, mindsets,  and why we do what we do over and over again hoping things will be different.

The mindset has to be there to accomplish any goal
you choose to focus on.

Asking the question “How did I end up here” rings of just letting life pull you along. Not doing anything about it unless there was a crisis of some kind.

My cup of tea was tangible my state of mind was not because I was confused, sad, with no direction. Is this all there is in my life?

Default living is like floating on the ocean, being carried in one direction or another and not of your choosing – you go where the currant goes. It’s settling for what has always been and just rolling with it. And personally, that can be a very regretful life. Because all the things you wish you did never happen.

I tell new parents when I teach my  mindful meditation classes never get so wrapped up in your children’s lives that you forget who YOU are. It’s easy to do and 20 years goes fast..

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At that time in my life, lamenting over tea, I realized this was not the end of my life. No it was the beginning.  I had the power to change direction and not live by default. So I started writing books on childbirth.  I learned about hypnosis and NLP (neuro-lingustic programming). I got more active on the internet and blasted those archaic ideas about myself  Most of them, if not ALL of them were not true. They were thoughts I made up about myself based on what I heard from teachers, my parents, and friends growing up. ALL External stuff.

So who do you believe?
It should be YOU.

For true success to come in your life, no matter what that means to you, it has to come from within your being, your heart, your soul. You have to believe in yourself and not accept the crap from the past. I call it that because that’s just what it is – manufactured crap that stripped you of your ability to connect with your true, gifted, essence.

The raw truth is, and it’s a good one, nothing will happen in my life, or yours, unless I take responsibility for it, and make the change myself. No one else can do it for me. Breaking through the untruths is scary and invigorating.

Breaking out of default living can be done if you:

  • Get scared and learn something new
  • Honor your goals because the only one you’ll hurt is yourself
  • LISTEN to your intuition it’s always right
  • Become aware of the struggle
  • Find a solution that won’t overwhelm you
  • Take small steps because you’ll see them sooner and will lead to great changes
  • Use Mindful  Meditation for self guidance and insights
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Teach, helping others helps you to learn more about yourself
  • Change your state of mind when in a maze of confusion about your life. Turn on some up beat music, dance, go for a walk … the worst thing you can do is dwell on your currant problems
  • Believe in yourself. Know one knows you better than you … now that’s empowering!

Can you spot things in your own life where you’re living by default?

In the midst of challenge there is calm.

Lesly Federici






PS: Learn Mindful Meditation through the Robin Hood Mentoring program and so much more.



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Lesly Federici

Lesly Federici is a Registered Nurse turned Community and Affiliate Marketer. She is the CEO of the Power Affiliate Club, and known as the "Artistic Affiliate". She enjoys helping people learn, create, and manage the blogging experience. She's also an Artist and Author. Lesly believes the best opportunities in life are those self generated. Be sure to reach out to Lesly as she would love to hear from you ...

12 Responses

  1. Hi Lesly,

    Thoughtful and inspiring post about realizing you’re at a crossroads. Really liked the ‘floating on the ocean’ simile!

    Your action steps about how to break out of ‘default living’ were practical, yet each of them are acts of bravery. Good post. Thank you,

  2. To live your life by default. That makes me think of someone I know who says “I’m surviving.” when asked how he is. How sad a statement to just survive. As you say nothing will change if you don’t take responsibility for it. Change your state of mind, no one can do it for you.
    The worse you can do is dwell on current problems. Do something else, get away from your usual day to day, and enjoy something like loud music in the car, or even just a walk to
    clear your head. Have a hobby, I love gardening or just visit a friend and always remember – believe in you!!

  3. Great article Lesly! It is good to talk about assumptions and the rules we are living by default that keeps us from what we want. This information is so crucial.

  4. Sue Bride says:

    Maybe there’s nothing wrong with default living if it’s a new and better default. If the steps you mention, to get out of your old way of thinking and acting, become embedded, then it becomes you new default. A default that means you strive, deal with problems, make changes when needed, set goals and as Donna says, “live deliberately and intentionally”.

  5. Hi Lesly, I’ve never heard it described as “Living by Default” but you are right. That is what happens when we don’t take charge and step it up.

    This is an inspiring and motivating post and I thank you. Stepping it up for myself in so many different ways.

    Thanks again and have a great weekend.

  6. I love the suggestions for breaking out of default living. There is a lot of valuable information in this post that I will have to share.

  7. Hi Chery,
    Oh I know what a tough year it’s been for you. I’ve thought of you so often … step up in your own time.. you’ve been doing great 🙂 Love you too .. thank you for visiting …

  8. Hi Donna,
    I agree… living in the comfort zone keeps you in the same place .. I can’t help but mix my writing and throw in some mindfulness.. lol, but I wouldn’t be doing what I am these days without it. If I can help someone else open a new door in their life … it will be worth it… love seeing you visit… thank you

  9. Hi Mandy,
    Must be a time for self-reflection… and that’s a good thing. So many are held back for whatever reason and don’t live the life they wanted. You have to be willing to look within to break free of what holds you back … wonderful to see you visiting, thank you 🙂

  10. Mandy Allen says:

    Great post, Lesly, and funny that it’s the third this week on a similar topic. I guess we all have the same mindset! I think some people truly see life as something they have no control over, when in fact we have all the control. Other people often influence that which is a shame. It’s a shame that others need to have so much power over others. And once you’r in it it’s very hard to break out.

    Enjoy the journey!

  11. Hi Lesly,

    One way to live your life is “in comfort”.

    But that usually results from mindless living… just going through the motions, but never going anywhere.

    Then we look up and wonder, like the old song “is that all there is?”

    Your article inspires us to be mindful of how we live, to bring to consciousness all that we do, to live deliberately and intentionally and always in struggle to reach new heights.


  12. Hey Lesly! It has been a tough yer but I am oh so ready to get back on track. Not usre if living by default is the right word or not for me, but I do know it is time to step it up..

    Thank you so much for the great advice..
    Love Ya
    Chery :))

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