Tearing It Down Or Putting Up The Wall

One thing I’ve learned about myself, and life, and human beings, is there will always be a “wall” to confront.

The Calm RNA  emotional/mindset “wall” challenges any action, decision, choice, or desire for personal change – or defeats it creating unfulfilled quests and possible regret in one’s life.

We all experience a “wall” at one time or another. You’re not always consciously aware that the wall is controlling your behavior, choices, or even holding you back from accomplishing what you want in life.

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The wall can protect you and hold you back, or it can challenge to move you forward – no matter how difficult, or emotionally painful it is, it’s there for you to figure out how to use it or ignore it. The wall is an opportunity in itself – to break through, or not …

For example….

I saw this episode of “Extreme Horders” (video below) and it was pretty horrifying to see how a family could live in a home full of garbage. Their home was PACKED with stuff – anything you could imagine, it was there. This married couple had a teenage son who, by no choice of his own, was subjected to these living conditions and affected by them as well.

The underlying reason for their hording behavior was the early death of another child, an infant, over 20 years ago and the mother specifically, never came to terms with their loss.

What’s interesting about this clip is that it shows how on an unconscious level the “wall” protected them from coming to terms emotionally to accept their child’s death. Their actions, piling up garbage bags in front of the baby’s picture, became a physical wall, mirroring the unconscious “wall” they were totally unaware of or refused to look at because it was so emotionally painful.

 Here’s what I know from my personal experience, If you turn your cheek to avoid what’s happening in your life, you’ll miss the opportunities of what could be.’..

This family in the video cleared out all the trash, which they needed an outsider to help them do. The mother and father were able to let go, and say good-bye to their baby through a symbolic burial.

Their living son was able to finally have a bedroom of his own and they were able to sit down at their kitchen table and have a family meal- for the first time after all the trash had been removed. Their lives changed for the better, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Emotional pain. No one wants to experience it. But when you do, when you make-up your mind to burst through any challenge, or “wall”, what follows can be sweeter than you ever imagined.

So, become aware of your behaviors. Why do you do the things you do. Be curious. Ask yourself questions and then decide if you believe it or not – if it’s really true.

Sometimes what we believe about ourselves is not true and formed from what others think about us. However, in cases of emotional pain, having an outsider helps and often offers an objective and helpful, perhaps even a healing perspective.

The other side of me, the Calm RN

Lesly Federici




PS. Let me know what you think! What “walls” have you overcome? How did it change you?

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